Knowing the Stages of Change Can Help Normalize Your Recovery Process
Have you ever opened up to a family member, friend or professional about a difficult change you are trying to make and they respond with supportive feedback or advice that just doesn’t match where you’re at in your change process? This mismatch can cause guilt, shame and confusion for the person considering change. Experiencing two conflicting desires about the problematic behavior(s) does not have to be difficult to navigate and understand. This article gives a brief overview of the stages of change as well as how understanding this can be helpful in your change process.
An introduction to the stages of change:
Whether you are working towards recovery from substances, self harm or disordered eating, you will learn about the stages of change at some point from your support team or through your own research. Depending on where you look, there are five or six stages of change. This model was developed during a smoking cessation study in 1983 by researchers James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente and it became a significant part of the Transtheoretical Model.
The original stages of change had five stages which include the following:
Precontemplation: You are in this stage when the problematic behavior is not viewed as problematic to you or may be in your subconscious versus conscious awareness. People in your life may express their concerns but you do not feel the same way. In many ways, the behavior(s) are providing more benefit than harm from your point of view.
Contemplation: In this stage, you have moved into the awareness that the behavior is problematic and are experiencing ambivalence about changing. You are not taking any action steps that are noticeable but are wrestling with this internally.
Preparation: When you have gained awareness of your problem, gone over the pros and cons of taking or not taking action, you start to prepare yourself for changes. At this stage, you might be sharing more with people, scheduling more appointments with providers and organizing how you plan to keep yourself accountable.
Action: At this point, you are interrupting your targeted behavior(s) and implementing strategies/skills to replace it. You are intentional day to day about how you respond to your emotions, thoughts and experiences without using the previous behavior(s). Lapses can happen where you regress back but you can more quickly identify this and redirect yourself.
Maintenance: In this stage, you have sustained using desired behaviors in place of the problematic ones. You resist any urges that arise with more ease and continue to get more confident in responding in healthy ways to your thoughts, feelings and experiences.
Important points:
You will vacillate between stages of change within moments throughout your change process. Ambivalence can be present at multiple stages of change. Remember to validate the fact that the so-called problematic behavior has served a function in your life. Sometimes it served as a way to survive abuse, cope with emotions, feel nothing or the opposite and feel more. Whatever the case, you have come to a point in life where you no longer need to rely on this behavior. Learning more about the function of your behavior can help you combat shame throughout your process.
Why is knowing this important?
Knowing where you fall in the stages of change can normalize your experience. Without this, you can fall into a shame spiral and experience thoughts that there is something wrong with you. When you experience shame, it halts growth and keeps you stuck. Validating that the process is bumpy can help you let go of unrealistic expectations and accept your imperfect journey. Understanding where you fall in the stages of change can also guide you in setting realistic goals day to day. If you are in the preparation stage, you might not be ready to take big leaps but, rather, plan more for when you feel closer to the action stage of change.
How your supports can benefit from knowing the stages of change:
Your support people will also benefit from understanding where you are at in your change process. When support people have certain expectations that don’t match where you are at, you both can be left feeling defeated and disappointed which also triggers shame. When you experience a support person sitting alongside you as you lead the way in your process, it can feel empowering. Now that you know the stages of change, ask yourself where you tend to vacillate with any behaviors you have considered changing. If it feels appropriate, share this information with your support people and see how this impacts how they support you.
If you or someone you love is in need of mental health support, please contact Megan for therapeutic support in Minnesota.
